Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Time To Go

We are leaving Beijing in 10 days. By the time we board the plane, we will have been here for more than 3 years, the longest we've ever lived anywhere together. I have mixed feelings about leaving. I am eager to get back to America but am sad to leave the life we've made here. We've made wonderful friends here and it feels like we are leaving family. The hardest part is leaving our ayi, but not for the reasons most people would think. Of course I will miss the help she gives us, but more than that, I will miss the part of our family she has become. We all love her and she adores the boys... each one. Jack, Jed and Huck each have their own attachment to/with her. It's wonderful to see. Worse, though, is the feeling of terrible guilt and sadness I feel for pulling Zeke away from her. She is so attached to him. She has loved him since the day after he was born. When I told her I was expecting, she jumped for joy... literally. She was in tears a few days ago, when we were talking about the coming weeks. Knowing we are the cause of her distress is a terrible feeling. We've told her she can come visit whenever she wants. All she needs to do is get a passport and we'll write a letter to try to get her a visa and pay for her ticket. I know this hardly helps to ease the heartache, though.I've said before that I cannot read my own blog, but until now I've been able to write it. Now, though, the entire blogger site is blocked. So, I am writing this entry in an email and my Dad will post it for me. (Thanks Dad)Three weeks ago, I traveled back to the DC area and found a house to buy. In 10 days, we'll fly back to Dulles and the family will see the new house. We'll have a mini vacation in Washington DC for a few days. Then, we will drive up to PA, in our new car (I also bought a car when I was in the US) and after a few days with the family, leave the three older boys with Tom's parents while Tom, Zeke and I go back to close on the house and move in to it. So, this might be my last post for a while. Thanks for reading.Xie Xie and Zaijian!

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