Explaining some differences

In many of my posts, I humorously describe things that have happened to us that show major cultural differences between us and our host country. I want to be clear that in doing so, I do not mean to seem critical of our hosts, rather just point out how two groups can be so completely different in their daily lives.

A clear illustration of this is how the general population in China treat the raising of their children. We all know about the one child policy. This has created a phenomenon of spoiled only children but while parents spoil their children like many families in American do, they continue to raise them in a very different way.

The priority here is for children to grow to be successful and driven. Parents want their children to grow up and take care of them. They send them to school very young. Schools are very competative and demanding. Children as young as 6 and 7 years old are often awake past 10:00 at night working on school homework. Parents enroll their children in extra schooling, keeping them occupied every day of the week. School is 6 days per week and many children have extra activities every day plus Sundays. Tutoring sessions are a common way for parents to try to keep their children ahead of the class, but when every child is doing it, more and more extra work is needed to stand above the rest.

Starting in middle school, children have to take tests and go through interviews to get into the better middle schools. This is true of all children who want to continue school past age 12. Our Ayi and driver's son went through this last year. He did not get into the school they wanted him to attend and it caused them great dissapointment. Also starting in middle school, education ceases to be free. Everyone must pay for the schooling, which explains why many people stop going to school at this age.

Education is the priority here because they see it as the way up in life.

Yesterday, I told Xing Ayi that I want Zeke to hear mostly Chinese so that he speaks it first. I said there is plenty of time for him to learn English when we go back to America so I want her to speak to him as much as possible. She told me (not for the first time) that I should leave Zeke with her when we leave China. He could stay here until he is "maybe 10 years old and then he can speak Chinese very well, like a Chinese boy." She is quite serious. She has also expressed to me, on several occassions, that she would like her son to come stay with us in the US for an extended period so that he can learn to speak very good English.

It is not uncommon for families to send their children away to live with relatives so that the child may get a better education than in the home village. Many children see their parents only once per year, at the New Year, which is at the end of this month. While I would love for Zeke to speak perfect Mandarin, there is not even a small part of me that would consider leaving him here. Now, ask me if I'd like to take Xing Ayi with us... That would be a different answer entirely.